Wishing for Dull Moments
Who: Brody and Jeremy
When: Afternoon
Where: outside of the library
Brody wanted to read. And the library seemed like a good place to start... well, doing that. He had been in town a couple days already and had been preoccupied with buying normal stuff like groceries, visiting the church (some bad habits were harder to break than others) and reading the flux of incoming introductions from new residents on the computer - none of which he recognized so far. He had done pretty much everything he could at this point to keep himself busy, including washing his clothes at the laundromat and checking out the movie theater. But it was to the point where he wanted some books to fill the dull moments (of which he was silently hoping there were many) so he headed out to the library after a shower and some lunch.
It didn't take him very long inside to find a few books and get them checked out. However, he didn't want to go back home and sit inside and read. It was still relatively warm outside, despite the cloudy day, so he sat outside of the library, the chains on his jeans rattling as he got comfortable against the wall, knees drawn up and the book against his legs. He started reading, though his gaze lifted from the printed words every now and then to watch people pass by. He wasn't sure if he was waiting for a face he recognized, or for someone to talk to him. It was really a toss up.
- login to post comments
Jeremy was on his way to the grocery store yet again when he saw the lone figure sitting across the street. He wasn't much inclined to start up conversation with random strangers but he had been wanting to check out the library for a while now. A quick stop and a hello wouldn't hurt - he hoped.
So he headed across the street and stopped a few steps away from Brody, eyeing the library and the other man in turn. "I take it it's open?" He asked, smiling faintly. "Or are you waiting for it to..." He noticed the book then and shook his head. "Is it any good? The library, I mean."
Brody glanced up from his book to the guy speaking before looking over to the door on his left. "Yeah, it's open. And yes, I guess the library is... good." Brody's lips twitched into a small smile. "Not as big as I'd like, but it's got a decent selection, I guess. I'd rather just check out books then go spend my money on 'em. Unless I plan on rereading more than once, but I rarely do that." Yeah, not like the guy had asked. "I'm Brody, by the way." He lifted his hand to shake, though he stayed sitting up against the library wall. "You don't look familiar to me." Meaning the guy hadn't been in Experiment B. Thank god.
Jeremy had much the same thoughts on Brody. Unless he'd arrived after Jeremy was removed, Brody hadn't been in Experiment A and he doubted he had been since he'd never seen his picture on his wall. "I don't?" He said with a small sense of relief since it also might mean Brody had not been behind the cameras in Experiment C. "Well, I'm Jeremy. I live just across the street." He smiled awkwardly while he waited for that to sink in. Jeremy, the stupid intern who outed himself to the whole town, yup that was him. Unless Brody stayed away from the journals, he'd know that and Jeremy just hoped he didn't hide a violent streak behind that calm demeanor.
"Ah." It did take a second for realization to kick in, since Brody's mind wasn't exactly on who posted on the journals, though he had been reading them at home. When he did recognize Jeremy's name, his eyebrows twitched upward and he grinned. "Jeremy the self-outed intern. Nice to see you're still in one piece, yeah? Kept up a bit with your thread you had going on there, but got tired after awhile. That Hannah chick is a bitch, isn't she?"
"She kinda is," Jeremy replied, purposely toning that down. He wasn't about to talk shit about anyone to someone he didn't know. "Not that weird though, considering. So what about you?" It wasn't an easy question, probably very rude and personal and whatnot but he was curious. "Volunteer?" He guessed since Brody didn't at first glance look to be horribly twitchy, paranoid, hostile or miserable.
"Kinda? Woman's a she-devil." Brody glanced back at his book briefly. He couldn't even remember where he'd stopped reading. Dammit. Looking back up at Jeremy, he squinted a bit. "Can tell about people, from the way they write sometimes. Like, the people who comment on a journal just be a prick? Probably miserable bastards looking to spread the love. They're usually the most entertaining, yeah?" He stretched his legs out in front of him, rubbing his faded and scuffed sneakers together. "Me? Yeah... I mean no. Not a volunteer. Wouldn't volunteer for this if they paid me. Which, then I guess I wouldn't be a volunteer, right? Wonder if they got a bank account too, or if they've gotta get jobs themselves. Volunteer to help the poor hapless, damaged souls and serve at a diner while you do it. Can you imagine being someone sent here and then having to make egg and cheese omelets. Wait. Omelets are always eggs and cheese, right? It's the other shit that makes them like... what's in a western omelet?" Brody bit his lip, thinking it was important that he know this. But then he paused and blinked up at Jeremy, squinting again thoughtfully. "Shit. Was that the question? No, not a volunteer."
"I think volunteer says it all," Jeremy replied with a small, wry smile. "So I doubt they get paid." So, Brody wasn't a volunteer and the way he was talking about it made Jeremy think one thing above the other. "Intern?" He asked warily, not wanting to insult him if that wasn't the case. The participants had their own dry humored bunch for sure. Some sort of coping mechanism.
Brody wasn't stupid enough to go around announcing it - no offense to Jeremy - but he wasn't going to lie and shy away from it either if asked. "Yeah." His eyes shifted away from the guy again. He didn't particularly like talking about Experiment B. The whole thing had been... massively fucked up. More than anyone outside of it would ever understand. "But you were intern turned participant, weren't you? So you got double dosage of it. What'd you do to piss 'em off?"
"I-, we tried to stop the experiment," Jeremy muttered, wondering just where Brody had spent his nine months and what sort of an intern he had been. "Which experiment were you in?" He couldn't help but ask because anything but C was good. If this guy had seen him at his weakest hours, he didn't want to be standing there talking to him and he wondered if that was how the participants of Experiment A felt about him.
"You tried to stop the experiment?" Brody asked, clearly surprised. He shook his head. Interns trying to stop the experiment. Either they were incredibly stupid - or brave. Or both. "Me, I worked for B. That was... yeah." He really didn't have much to say about it. Rather, he didn't have much he wanted to say about it. "You said we so you had some help, yeah? Did they get tossed into the experiment with you then? Didn't see anyone else confessing on the journals, but maybe they saw it was a bad idea? No offense to you, man, since yeah that took some guts to do and everything. Are they here too?"
"Yeah he is," Jeremy replied since he still made sure not to involve Cheryl, not until she was ready at least. "He was put in the experiment we were interns on, which must have been... yeah. So, everyone there knows about him already, no need for confession." He never was sure how to talk to other interns now, people who had stuck with the program this long without complaint? He couldn't understand it. Though if he had been taken back from Experiment C and made an intern again, he probably would have followed orders blindly. But that was after.
"What was B like?" He asked quietly, though really, he didn't want to know.
"Fucked up." Surely Jeremy could understand that much. "Don't really like to talk about it all that much... it was the kind of thing that escalated, you know?" And Brody managed along just fine when he wasn't thinking about it. "Don't think I would have survived very long if I'd been put in the experiment, let's just say that. You looking for anything in particular?" Brody asked, holding up his book and motioning into the library, his brain shifting subjects without much thought. "Doubt you're looking for a thriller or murder mystery, huh? Wouldn't think anyone was but funny enough they got a huge selection, which to me seems kind of fucked too, but I don't think it was intentional. Or maybe it was, hell, I don't know. You were in an experiment, yeah? Did you say which one? Were you in the same experiment as your friend?"
Jeremy could understand that more than he wanted to. He was completely clueless about that experiment though, other than A and C he only knew D had tunnels. He wanted to ask but it seemed like a bad idea. "He was in A, I was in C," he muttered, glancing up at the library and shrugging. "Thought I'd take a look, see if it's any good. The library, I mean. Might try to get a job here. If it's nice.
Brody didn't know much about those experiments other than what he'd heard. None of the experiences had been pleasant for anyone. Which had been the point. Brody had had to watch it all unravel, but he hadn't been a part of it. "Yeah, it's nice inside." Brody finally got tired of looking up - the crink in his neck didn't help so he pushed himself up to his feet, closing his book in the process and holding it by his side. He and Jeremy seemed almost the same height, though Brody noted Jeremy's posture was a bit slouchy. Probably from the stress. Brody reached up to brush his bangs from his eyes. "You know, best thing you can do is be yourself around here. Don't let these people get to you. Don't be afraid, because a lot of the participants? They're like... they'll know and they'll use it against you. Seems to me you didn't do anything wrong, and you tried to help and then you became one of them. It's going to get worse for you if you let paranoia and fear run your life while you're here."
It was easier said than done, that was for sure. And easy for someone to say when they hadn't been locked inside a window- and doorless room with only messed up video feeds for company for six months. Still, Jeremy nodded at the advice and buried his hands in his pockets.
"A lot of people are really angry," he said softly. "And rightfully so. I just-, I guess I just hope they don't.. that they don't direct it all in the wrong direction." Just not him, Drew or Cheryl. Right now he didn't care all that much about the other interns and he dreaded the day he'd run into an intern from Experiment C. Would he be just as angry? Or would he fold with embarrassment and bad memories.
"Yeah, a lot of people are angry." And he had a feeling he would want to be hiding from any Experiment B participants, should they ever show up. But he wasn't going to cower in fear from anyone who walked by. He couldn't. "But your situation is different. You tried to stop it. You had to experience fucked up shit with them. Someone like me? I can't say the same thing as you. I was there until they came in and pulled us out." Not that he had any choice, really, but to a lot of people, that didn't matter. "I figure if someone's determined to beat the shit out of me, they're going to find me and do it, no matter how hard I try to hide. This town's not that big, Jeremy. You owned up to shit, and that's all you can do at this point, I think. Don't get me wrong, I know it's not that easy to just shift your state of mind, but it's something you got to deal with because who knows how long we're going to be stuck here."
He was right but it did bring up the point Jeremy had been trying to avoid this whole conversation and he shifted his feet slowly, trying to think of something else to say and failing. "Why did you go through with it for that long?" He asked quietly. "You don't seem like-, didn't you-, did you ever stop and think, This is too much or-, I need to get out of this?" He didn't meet Brody's eyes as he talked but when he went quiet again he shifted his gaze up just momentarily to check his reaction.
Brody had sort of been expecting that question and his eyes ticked away from Jeremy's for a brief second, a small grimace on his pale face before it smoothed out. Some people might understand it, others wouldn't. Maybe Jeremy would, given he'd been an intern once. He tried really hard to focus on the answer and not drift off topic, because he felt this was important. "Didn't really have much of a choice," Brody finally answered. "We signed our lives away, just like the participants. Some interns and I, we were getting sick of it after a few months. It wasn't anything like I imagined it would be. We were scared and wondering what we could do, but the truth is, we didn't have any power whatsoever. We couldn't do anything. It was cowardly of me to sit back and do nothing, I know that. But I didn't enjoy it. Finally I decided I was going to leave no matter what it took, but that's when they shut it down. I don't know if I would have been able to walk away or not, or if I would have tried and ended up in the experiment like you had. If I had been placed in that house, there's no doubt they would have killed me." Brody paused. "I'm really sorry for what happened to you."
In a way Jeremy thought that would have been worse, staying an intern and not doing a thing. Afterward at least, when they were saved and stuck together in this small town. At least he could stand up and say I tried, I tried to walk away and I tried to save you and that? That felt good. A bit self righteous but good. If he hadn't done anything, he'd be mortified now, unable to live down the shame, or at least that's what he suspected. It didn't mean he didn't understand though, placed in the same situation now, he'd likely just do as told and avoid making a scene. He'd been brave back then and he admired that man like it was someone else. In many ways, it was someone else, he wasn't him anymore.
"I don't think-, you know. I mean, I get it," he told Brody quietly and for all he knew, B had been far worse than A. He wasn't about to pass judgment on something he knew nothing about. "I just hope it's over."
"Maybe it's over. I don't know." Brody fell silent, fingers picking a bit at the cover of his book. He was aware Jeremy probably thought less of him for not doing anything, but it was hard to explain it without describing Experiment B. And Brody wasn't sure he was ready to say those things out loud yet. Not to someone he'd just met, no matter how decent they seemed. Brody took a breath and mustered a small smile. "I should probably stop loitering on the library steps. Maybe I'll catch you around sometime? Be nice to know a friendly face in this town."
"And I should get myself to the store," Jeremy agreed, nodding at the other man. "I live right across the street if you ever need to talk." Or hide?. At least he still had that part of himself, he hadn't completely changed so that was a relief€; he still felt the urge to be there for people he thought might need it. Just don't bring an angry mob to my door.
"Take care... Brody, was it?"
"Yeah, it's Brody. Brody Crane." And then Brody smiled and motioned with a nod to the house across the street, one house over from Jeremy's. "And it just so happens that I live there... convenient, isn't it? So yeah, if you ever want to stop by, you're more than welcome to. Talk to you later, Jeremy." He started off to the sidewalk, thinking maybe he ought to send the guy an email soon just to check in on him.
Jeremy smiled at him and waved him off, letting him leave before he himself headed off to the store. The library could wait, at least for now. He'd check for a job later, when he felt less shook up about the whole process. At least now he knew a little more about one of his neighbors, which made a nice little triangle of safety around his own house. Places to run in case... of what?