Could we start again, please?

Who: Drew and Jeremy
Where: Jeremy's house
When: Morning

Drew had woken up to Rin being gone. Which...was not good. It hit him hard, blindsided him in a way that he should have seen coming--but for some reason hadn't. But then again, how was one ever really prepared to deal with someone disappearing? It wasn't like it got easier with time, or quantity of people. That just...didn't work. He'd looked all over the house, then gone to the one she'd vacated before, and...nothing. No, she was gone. Removed, even. Fuck. He'd walked around for a while, feeling like he was in a daze, until he found himself on Jeremy's porch. He sat there on the front step for at least twenty minutes, just...staring out at nothing.

Jeremy had taken to sleeping in the bathtub which was incredibly uncomfortable and yet the only place he could sleep. It just felt safe with the curtains drawn and the cold tiles all around him. Owen hadn't said anything about it, didn't seem at all bothered by this particular brand of madness his housemate was showing and Jeremy was ever so grateful. He woke up fairly early, dragged the pillow and blankets into his room and then headed to the kitchen to start some coffee brewing. It was a habit now, checking every window before he could settle down and relax as he couldn't know what would come next. Things could be ruined, the house could be in a different area for all he knew so that's what he did while he waited for the coffee. Just strolled around, peeking outside, making sure the houses were all still there, boarded up (or not). This was the reason he spotted Drew and he didn't hesitated to unlock the door and open it partially.

"Drew?" He said quietly, worriedly, looking at his friend's back. "What are you doing out here? Did you knock?" That made no sense given that he'd been awake for a little while now but he still thought to ask. Maybe he had knocked very quietly.

Drew twitched hard, looking back around him, but relaxed when he saw his friend. "...no, I didn't knock. I didn't want to disturb anyone." he said. Also, he had no idea what he was going to say, and he was feeling rather hopeless, and hadn't really felt like waking up Jeremy just to dump that on the guy. Jeremy was fucked up enough as it was. But he also hadn't wanted to be alone, and well...he was porch-sitting, apparently.

"Oh," Jeremy mumbled, brows furrowed as he watched Drew then hesitantly (and not without a good look all around) stepped outside to sit down next to him. He could ask what was wrong but it would have been the stupidest question ever uttered considering everything was wrong. Maybe Drew was just feeling the weight of it extra hard this morning. "I'm making coffee," he finally offered after sitting there in silence for a while just watching the rain they were just barely shielded from.

"...Rin made coffee every morning." Drew said. "Breakfast too. She loved...helping." he said. Then he sighed, and steadied himself. "She's gone. I woke up this morning, and she's not in her room. And she isn't at her old house, either. None of her stuff is there. She's...who knows what the fuck happened to her." he said, and there was a heavy mixture of both bitterness and anger, right alongside crippling depression. He was not having a good day, Mrs. Shepherd's boy Drew.

Jeremy knew what he was saying before he even said it. It was the past tense that made it so blatantly obvious that he felt nausea welling up inside him. It showed too, his face going paler, adam's apple bobbing as he strived to swallow that extra saliva that came with getting sick. "Come inside," he finally managed to say, putting his hand on Drew's arm, not insistent but there, letting him know he was there for him or urging him to move - even Jeremy wasn't sure just what he wanted to convey.

Drew nodded, not sure what he was going to say either. Really, it was just...he didn't know. He really didn't. He'd have to suck it up here, but Rin had just been...she was a sweet girl. And she had never deserved anything that had come to her. He'd been glad to have her back around, even if she usually had a way of making him feel vaguely guilty since she wanted to do everything, but still. He liked her, genuinely had. And he was going to miss her, and pretty much be sick over what had happened to her. Was she dead? Just...gone for more torture all by herself? It wasn't fair. Standing, he just stood there, almost as if he was waiting for direction, or Jeremy to go in first, or something.

Jeremy fidgeted, then stepped inside, leading the way. That had been his role before, taking things in hand, being the guy who said things would work out, things would be great, everything would be fine. Where the hell had that guy gone? He waited until Drew came in after him, then closed the door behind them, fighting the urge to hug Drew. He knew this had to hurt, Rin had moved in with him, he didn't think they were romantically involved - who had the mindset for that stuff the way things were anyway - but she was someone special to him regardless. And now she was gone, without a goodbye or explanation, just taken away in the middle of the night. He wanted to tell Drew that maybe she was somewhere better but he doubted it. Maybe she was where he had been, maybe she was wandering lost in a forest somewhere or underground, praying for the sun. He just doubted she was anywhere nice.

"Come on," he mumbled helplessly. "We have some food too if you're hungry." He put his hand on Drew's arm again, but this time he knew what he was conveying. He was there for him, he understood the pain but didn't want to push. He wondered if all that could be felt through such a simple touch, he at least didn't have the words for it all.

Drew appreciated that, even if it didn't help a lot. It was an effort Jeremy was putting in, and Drew acknowledged that. "I'm not hungry." he said. He didn't think he would be for a while. "But thanks anyways." he added, ingrained politeness of his life shadowing in at the weirdest times.

Jeremy led the way to the kitchen, pouring them both coffee and idly wondering if Owen and his imaginary bird were awake already and just hiding. They both seemed to do that a lot, just hide out together but apart. A darker thought entered his mind what if he's gone too but he dismissed it quickly, bringing the cups to the kitchen table. "I think..." He started as he sat down, mouth opening a few times as he tried to phrase his thoughts but they were hard to catch and form into words. "Bigger houses, maybe. We could all... You and me and Owen and Cheryl. All of us, it'd be better." Not safer, that much was obvious by now but if they all stayed together, there might be some small comfort. If one went missing, there'd still be others to cling to. Though Drew and Cheryl might frown upon his odd bathroom habits.

Drew sat down, hands clasping around the mug and that was the first he knew of the fact that he'd let himself get chilled to the bone. Jesus, he was cold. So much so that the warmth of the mug almost felt too hot. He didn't remove them though. But he also didn't drink any, seeming to almost forget it was there in his hands a moment after he'd absently noted the cold issue. "Would you want to?" he asked, not sure about the idea himself, but that was more because he was thinking about the fire at the mansion. How he'd been the only one to really realize that one person burned up in there. He and his stupid eidetic memory. He'd be doing much better if he could forget the little details.

"Yes," Jeremy said and then his eyes darted a bit and he shook his head. "And no. But yes. I don't know, we're close but-, I mean the houses. Maybe it's enough but I don't want to be alone. But there's things, privacy, not privacy I mean, I don't need it." And then he was thinking about Rin again. He'd barely met her but from what he knew of her she was so sweet and small and she couldn't talk which meant she couldn't scream and that brought all sorts of horrible feelings up in him. Helpless. And others were disappearing as well, would he be next? Would it be worse or better to go missing or to stay behind? "What do you want?" He asked quietly, trying not to focus on the horror, houses were a safe topic for now.

"Honestly, Jer, I couldn't even begin to tell you right now." Drew said honestly. "I'm not exactly in the best frame of mind to be making decisions." Because he was having a hard time caring about much right then. Everything felt so incredibly hopeless, he couldn't even really...it was too much. Everything had always been too much, but this felt like a cheap fucking shot. Have her there with him for a little while, then snatch her away again? How did that even work?

"I know," Jeremy sighed, staring into his coffee cup as if there would be answers there. "If Everett is right it means there's someone new in town," he said quietly. "How many..." He slipped his hand up to rest his cheek on it, focusing on the coffee rather than Drew. "If there's anything, Drew... Anything I can do. You know me, I'll do anything. You, me, Cheryl... We're a team." Though they didn't feel like it anymore. Cheryl was distant, angry with him because he was too ashamed to bring her into his house. Drew was broken as was Jeremy and they all felt hopelessness upon hopelessness and that was no good foundation for any teamwork.

"That logic only worked in our experiment. I don't think it did in others. So, I wouldn't bet the farm on there being anyone else. I don't...I don't know." He sighed and dragged his fingers through his hair, before resting his forehead against his palm, eyes shut tight. "...pretty sure the team aspect of the three of us crashed and burned when everything went to hell, Jer, but thanks for the sentiment." he added, not able to keep his mouth shut on that one.

Jeremy nodded, ducking his head so his eyes were covered with his hair which had grown out a little too much. "For what it's worth-" he said quietly and it probably wasn't worth much at all. "-I'm still here if you need me." If you need me to make coffee or cook something, not that I'm up for much else. "I offered Cheryl already, if she wants, or if you want, I'll take the sofa, if you need to be around... If we want to be together." Though maybe being alone was something Drew wanted now. Jeremy might not handle it easily after the room but waking up alone when someone had been there the night before was worse than waking up alone when that was how it had been before as well.

"We can talk about it, the moving in thing. How is Cheryl? I haven't seen her." Drew admitted. He didn't know why, but she made him a little uncomfortable. He just couldnt' place it, and he wished he could so he could just kick his own ass over it, and be done with it. But...maybe he needed to not go that route. Maybe he just needed to go with whatever. "And thank you. For being here, that is." he added. "I appreciate it."

"She's," Jeremy started and then found himself at a loss, all but flailing as he tried to pin-point it. It didn't show until he started gesturing with his hands, shaking his head and then sighing heavily, grabbing his coffee cup again to keep his hands from moving. "She's mad at me," he sighed. "I think, for not inviting her, but inviting Owen. And you with Rin and she's alone and mad... I think. She's changed." He groaned at that last part because obviously she had changed. Who hadn't? "I don't know how to talk to her anymore."

"Wait, she's...what?" Drew asked, blinking with surprise. "Run that by me again. She's mad at us? For...because...huh?" he asked, clearly totally caught off guard with that.

"Upset?" Jeremy sighed. "I didn't ask her to move in," he added as a way of explanation. "Not for not wanting - I just, Owen was there and we're-" both dysfunctional as fuck. "He's from C too, familiar... But she's alone, I think she's just alone and sad and I told her, I told her move in." He shook his head in a way that said she'd refused and his lips twitched to the side briefly. "I don't know, Drew... Everything is so-, we're all so..."

"Fucked?" Drew suggested. He sighed. "I...so she was mad that you didn't ask her to move in, and then when you did she said no?" he asked, still trying to wrap his head around things. He hadn't even known she was upset with him. Which was probably his fault, because he hadn't been by. But then again, she hadn't been by either. So...did that mean it was both of their faults? But he wasn't upset with her over things. "...okay did she say anything about moving in together? Like...did I completely block this out of my memory, and I've been a total asshole and should have known or...something?" he asked.

"No, I don't know, I... We were a team?" Jeremy suggested, shrugging. "I just, I feel bad, like I should have, like I left her. But I didn't even know I had a responsibility or, do I? I care about her, both of you, you're all I have here, my friends." He trailed off, looking off and away, seeming to zone out a bit as he got lost in thought.

"...I'm kind of wondering the same thing. If I...she can't be mad about something that she didn't even ask us about, can she?" Drew asked, mystified. Enough so that it was at least keeping his mind off of Rin for five minutes. "If she wanted to move in, she should have asked, or, accepted when you asked." he said. "And I care about both of you as well. I just..." he shook his head, and finally remembered to sip his coffee. "I don't quite know what to do. I ....Rin just got taken, I don't know if I'd be ready for..." he trailed off. For anyone else to go missing on him. That's where that sentence ended.

"Take time," Jeremy replied and in a way he was relieved Drew wasn't jumping on board with the idea. He knew he was cracked and he knew his friends could see it but they hadn't seen just how cracked he was, they'd never found him sleeping in the tub or crying in his room or babbling incoherently while barely awake because of some dream lingering even as he scrambled to get awake. He didn't want them to see that side of him, whereas Owen hadn't known him before when he was strong and sane. Owen only knew that shadow of his former self and maybe he saw all the crap Jeremy was put through. It wasn't like the scientists valued privacy. That thought sometimes scared him more than anything, to be walking in town and someone would see him and remember him as that guy. Think to themselves isn't that the guy whose bathroom was sealed off so he ended up pissing himself? Awesome And while not many would laugh at such a predicament, in Jeremy's mind everyone would laugh. And it hadn't even been the worst of it, he was pretty sure he would die from embarassment alone if Drew and Cheryl saw even half of what he'd been through. Living together? Would reveal the top of the iceberg there, maybe they were better off being neighbors.

"I will." Drew said, thinking he needed it. Really, really needed it. He drank some more of his coffee, and set it down again, not really even tasting it. Could have been hot water for all he cared. "How are you doing, Jer?" he asked. He focused his gaze on his friend. "How are you really doing?"

"Like anyone," Jeremy replied, a worry line forming between his brows and he still hadn't tasted his coffee. "Rationalizing that there's no room, no time left - people have bigger issues. Bigger than me or the internship. But scared anyway, scared they hate me. And I want to go out there I want to help but, then there's a bear. Bear and people just bickering about nothing and... So tired." There, now that was out of the way and he looked away from that spot in his coffee he'd been staring at. "I'm going to guess, take a wild guess, you're somewhere in the same area as me?"

Drew didn't answer immediately. And eventually, he shook his head. "No...I'm not." he answered. "Right now? I just...don't feel anything. But before they took Rin? I wanted to help, I'm not really that afraid anymore. If people are going to hate me, they're going to hate me. But...Emma came to see me the other day. Was it yesterday? Yesterday, maybe. She came, and asked me if I knew what really happened to her. If I'd seen it. And you know I did. You know...and she just...wanted to know. I wished I could have told her more. And y'know, I'm slightly afraid that her boyfriend is going to come murder me in my sleep, but he hasn't got around to that yet. But she reminded me of something." he said, and looked back up to meet Jeremy's eyes. "She reminded me of why we decided to fight in the first place. I don't...want to be some broken little lab rat hiding in my house. So...I'm not going to be. Or I wasn't going to be." He was confusing himself on tense. Or, maybe he still felt how he had yesterday, he just didn't have any warm, bright spots to comfort himself with. Maybe that was it.

Jeremy winced, leaning back a little as Drew spoke, a flicker of panic in his eyes. He didn't want to say that it was pointless, that if they fought they'd take him away again and dump him in a room and this time... this time they'd tie him up and leave him until he couldn't scream anymore and they'd never let him go again. Instead of saying any of that he just shook his head, just so little it was barely noticable. "We had access- there were files, there were... We could leave, we thought we could leave, I... There's nothing here. How do you fight ghosts?"

Drew shook his head. "It's not about that." he said. "Not anymore. It's about the people here." Which now that he said it out loud, he realized was exactly how he felt about it. He hadn't quite known previously, but...well, he did now. He was also mildly surprised internally about the strength behind his own words. Huh. Guess he didn't lose everything when he woke up this morning.

Jeremy felt a tiny tinge of inspiration there, something small and brave that sparked inside his chest before fizzing out like a quick drowned in candlewax. "Yeah?" He asked, swallowing hard. "What... How?"

"By not hiding at home. By trying to help out with whatever efforts are making people feel better in town. By being there." Drew said. He quirked a tiny ghost of a smile that didn't last very long. "We're all in this together. And I know some of these people...they'll appreciate the help and remember that a long longer than they'll remember anything else."

That feeling Jeremy had before, that inspiration and hope? It was back but along with it came anxiety, a heavy knot in the same spot in his chest, growing anxiety and fear. He finally raised his cup and took a sip of the coffee, lukewarm now and a little too bitter. Drew was right, of course, but it didn't sooth those feelings at all. He just wanted to hide indoors and wait it out, even if he was pretty sure he'd only be waiting for death. "Where will you start?" He asked, hoping that the more Drew talked the more he'd inspire something other than that heavy feeling.

"...Talk to Janie and Everett about what they're doing where. See about other buildings, maybe start rigging as much as I can computer-wise." Drew said, thinking it over. He was a computer expert after all. And he knew the scientists systems. or...he knew them. "Just be there. I'm sure if I put myself out there, someone'll find a use for me." he said. "And from there...do whatever I have to."

Jeremy tapped the cup idly with his index fingers, his gaze flighty, never really settling anywhere for long. He wanted to go and help but the thought of making the decision, going there and in any way making himself seen to the 'general public' was crushing. He'd done well at leaving the house, that is until the bear came to town. He'd gone for a run and met some people, talked to them and been almost his old self again. Well, nowhere close but it had been a step in the right direction. But then people started disappearing and there was talk of guns, plus... bear. A multitude of bad things that had set him back so far he felt like he wouldn't crawl out again. A part of him wanted someone to come there and just boss him around - tell him what to do, that way he'd be following orders and none of it would be his responsibility. I wouldn't have done it but he told me to! "What..." He started, glancing at Drew helplessly. "What should I do?"

Drew looked over and studied his friend for a long moment. "You do the same thing." he said. "You send a message to Janie and Everett...ask them what it is you can do to help. Look around, read through journals, see what people are saying and if you can help anyone out in what they might be needing? You offer. If at least you offer, then that's something. If they don't want help, then hey--you asked." he told him.

That was a good one, Jeremy decided. They might not even accept and then, as Drew had put it, at least he had asked! "Any news of the bear?" He asked though he wasn't sure if he was more afraid of the bear or all the nutcases running around with a gun now. "I know they were going to... lure it? I don't know. Sounded fruitless but, luring it out?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure if they hadn't managed to do it, or if it had eaten anyone that we propbably would have hard about it on the journals." Drew said reasonably. "So, I'm pretty sure we don't have to worry that much about it." he finished. "So...start. And if you need anything, or help, or...whatever, just talk to me." he said, automatically sort of taking that role, since Jeremy had asked him what to do. Well...he guessed that was just going to be his new lot in life.

Jeremy nodded quickly, trying to plot this out in his mind and ignore the massive lump in his chest. Stupid anxiety, stupid fear, stupid emotions welling up and threatening to overtake him. "I'll... talk to Janie, I like Janie," he said, leaving it out of the equation that he was pretty damn scared of Everett. "She might... I offered her if she needed, I mean, if there was anything. When Gavin went... I might talk to her again though. Yes."

Janie. That strange, crazy girl. But she was mostly harmless, as long as one wasn't trying to kill oneself. ...which made him wonder about Jeremy around her, but he couldn't discourage his friend now that he was showing some signs that he would do more than hide in his house. "Talk to her. I'm sure she's upset. She and Gavin were...close, I guess." Or as close as one could get to someone like Janie.

"Mm, and there are new people," Jeremy added, the more he thought about it the more he felt maybe he could do. It didn't make the fear of it go away but those were people from a different experiment, people who seemed hopelessly lost and didn't know him or resent him yet.

"There are...and they're going to need help." Drew said. "We got into this, we stood up for things to help people...time to get back to that, Jer." Drew said, giving Jeremy a light smile. What the fuck he was talking about, he didn't know, but he talked a good game there.

He talked a great game and even if Jeremy was busy focusing on not having a panic attack - there was a tiny bit of optimism there too or at least the potential for it. "Are you... On the way here, is it slippery out?" He asked, because he figured it'd be safer to take the car if he actually went through with this.

Drew shrugged one shoulder. "...not that I noticed, but...I wasn't paying that much attention. I'm sure you can handle it, no matter what. I don't think it's that slippery." he said, with a wild guess there.

"Thinking about the car," Jeremy mumbled, though he missed running. He sometimes imagined he could feel his body getting weaker, feel the atrophy of his muscles and the way he was becoming more sluggish. "Maybe... Maybe I'll brave the bear."

"Check the journals--someone would have said if it was still around." Drew said, sounding certain on that. And he was. They'd certainly been informed when the bear was there to begin with. "You heading out?" he asked. "I should probably get going."

"Out?" Jeremy said, faltering a little. But this was what he was going to do, no? Go out... God that made his stomach drop like he was in an elevator going far too fast. Rollercoaster. Some big death machine at a sick carnival! "Yeah, I guess... I guess I'll check the journals and... You really don't have to go, you can stay - have more coffee."

Drew paused and looked at Jeremy, the halting pattern of his speech far too obvious to miss. "Jer...breathe." he said. "Breathe, and just deal. It'll be alright. You can do this." he told him. And since when was he...oh fuck it, he was now. And maybe once Jeremy got over that first stumbling block, he'd do better on his own, too. Remember who he used to be.

Jeremy let out a nervous laugh, more to try to cover up the awkward than anything. "Breathing. I can do that." So far he could, it was one of the things he could do, easy order to follow at least, it was a good start.