PM to Camber


I want to say first that I know this sort of message is even harder to receive than it is to write. I'm grateful for the fact that Jesse trusts you, I want you to know that. Please believe that this is in the sincerest of faith.

Jesse told me you two were involved, and even if I know that I have no real right to weigh in on the matter? I wanted to say that I'm okay with it and there's no hostility from my end. When we first talked on the journals, you made it clear that you had some idea of my history with him, and that you were concerned for him. That was, in all truth, a wonderful sign to see in the midst of everything happening here. He's a wonderful person, and I hold him close to my heart in every way that I can.

In the past, I've always felt like my presence has negatively affected his relationships even if I never tried to do so. He's known plenty of women who couldn't reconcile their relationship with Jesse and his regular involvement with me, and I hope that's not the case with you. He speaks highly of you as a friend, and his awkwardness to say more tells me it's not something he takes lightly. I know he said it wasn't a standard relationship, but I would hate to think I had sabotaged any aspect of things no matter what terms they may be on. And even with all this openly aired, I don't expect things to be perfect. Look at where we are, after all.

But I do hope there's no tension between us. I think that I'd like to see what Jesse sees in you, and I feel hopeful that we could be friends. Please be good to him, be patient, don't let him become too ensnared in his doubts. He needs that. And if there's anything I can do for you, or any time you might like to get together? Don't hesitate to let me know. Take care.

- Veronica

 - .


...thank you for this. I don't really know what to say. To be really honest? I assume everyone will think the worst, no matter what it is that I'm doing. So I'm sorry if I come off a little rambly and surprised here. You're a part of Jesse's life - a big part - and whether or not you can still tell him what to do, your feelings matter. I know they matter to him and they do matter to me. So thank you.

Right now we're just friends. I mean, we're more than just friends. But I'm not...jealous... I don't have any right to be. We were distractions for each other in the house, and I think we are here. It means a lot to me that you say he takes my friendship seriously. But anyone could tell that his family comes first, and you're that family. I wouldn't ask him to change his priorities. It's part of who he is, and to be honest, why I trust him. He's a good person.

So -- yeah, don't worry about it. No sabotage. Nothing to sabotage, really. I care about him; the rest is sort of a side issue.

So, right -- I'd like to be friends with you. I don't know you well, but you've never been anything but nice to me, and you don't have to do that, especially not here. Plus, I know Jesse cares about you very much and that makes me think you must be a kind of awesome person. I'm always around at the big farmhouse (the one on the left coming up from home) or...whenever, really. Not a whole lot to do here. If you want to hang out sometime (or, y'know: are desperately in need of someone to fix something, give you a really shitty tattoo or let you borrow her punk music) let me know. (I can't promise in-person won't be more awkward, but we'll just have to see there, right?)

And I'll try to look out for him. I'm not perfect, but I'll try. (That boy's got some self-esteem issues!)


 - .

If you'd like to be friends? We are. Which I know sounds oversimplified and possibly crazy? But with how complicated everything here has been, I have a lot of appreciation for the simple things. And I wouldn't discount the side issues so quickly, Jesse is... someone you get caught up in very easily. We haven't been together in years, but being apart? Well, it was difficult, to put it lightly.

I won't linger on criticisms? But I doubt you're just a distraction. And that's all I'll say there.

I'd love to get together sometime, really. I think a little more socializing around here would do all of us good, and I've already encountered some people from my experiment who I think might be agreeable to a night out. At the risk of cliches, even a girls' night of sorts. But not real... girly. Just some drinks, I could paint some tattoos for people (mine are less permanent, which I prefer). Anything would be good, so I'll let you know if a plan presents itself.

Thanks for listening, and for watching out for him. None of us is perfect, but recognizing that is valuable in and of itself.

- Veronica

 - .

All right, then. Cool.
And I can get that. Things here are a little more complicated than necessary. (Or maybe it's just that crazy and friendly hits lower on my radar than crazy and violent - who knows, ha.) And uh, thanks for the heads up. For what it's worth, and this may be sort of painful or at least absurd coming from me, I'm sorry things didn't work out.

Yeah, a non-girly girl's night could be cool. (I was kidding about the tattoos. One of my friends from the studio back home was sort of teaching me, but my supplies here would seriously be, engine and a bic pen, and I for one am not into the jailbird look. Your variety sound cool, though)

No need to thank me, really. I try to take care of the people I care about, that's all.