jesse and saj

anger with a guilt chaser

who: jesse and saj
where: the park
when: mid day

Jesse had waited until Owen and Joy had left. He didn't know where the hell the other chick that lived with them was. He'd also passed Joy's room, and spotted the bar sitting in there, and he stole a bottle of whiskey. Which sure, could possibly come to bite him in the ass later. But right now, he could not summon the energy to care. In fact, he couldn't summon the energy to do anything but want to drink himself into a coma. So he'd taken the bottle, needed to get the hell out of the house, and he'd bundled up and gone for a walk. And kept walking. He didn't go wherever everyone else was headed--hell, he didn't even know where that was.

His mind wouldn't shut up. Even if he'd already killed about a quarter of the bottle? it still kept right on going. Grinding over everything. About how he'd been waiting for months to hear a single word, and the first thing he gets told is that she's there--but their daughter isn't. And no actual idea where she was. Oh, and the real kick to the teeth--that she 'can't do this right now'. What the shit was that? Talking about suffering. His feelings were all mashed together, none of them positive. Not after that initial rush of relief that she was here. Not when she wouldn't even talk to him and refused to see him. Because she couldn't do this right now. Because his time had been a piece of cake. And where the hell was their daughter? God. Jessie.

Swirls of anger, mixed with honest to god pain were ruling about half of him, and the other half was dedicated fully to self loathing and guilt. It wasn't a great combo. So, sitting on the bottom of the slide at the little playground in the park, he just...stared out at the distant tree line and drank, hoping that eventually here, he'd at least kill one of the stabs of badness that sliced heavy through his chest.